Black men are ruining us.

Yes, Us.

Me. You. Us.

Somewhere between Lemonade and 4:44, we’ve received mixed signals about black love and something isn’t working.

Beyonce stayed through infidelity and disrespect but let’s face it, our exes and spouses don’t hold a candle to Jay-Z so I’ll be damned if women should endure disrespect from a men that we are probably out-earning anyway.

Even Jay-Z confessed his sins on an international platform to apologize to his wife because he eventually realized the value in family. He didn’t want to lose his wife, daughters, and son to his own bad decisions. He is about to make millions off of his sins and subsequent apology.

Money isn’t everything. Respect is.

There is no respect in broken hearts and lies.

So why do we stay?

This notion of a loyal chick does nothing but mask our brokenness for men who don’t deserve our loyalty and love.

If he lies, leave.

If he cheats, leave.

If he disrespects you, leave.

There is nothing wrong with being alone.

Somewhere out there is a man who wishes he could cross paths with you but you block your own blessing by staying with a man who doesn’t respect you.

How can you meet Mr. Right when you are still devoted to Mr. Wrong?

While you are chasing and crying over the man who broke you, Mr.
Right doesn’t see you because you are hidden somewhere between pain and shame so you are unavailable for the right man to walk into your life.

Sis, let him go.

You can’t fix a broken man.

Stop trying.

Tell him to either go to church or get a therapist but the burden doesn’t fall on you to fix what you didn’t break.

Do you realize you come from a long line of strong women? From slavery until now, black women have held down the fort and went from slaves to the most educated demographic in this country.

We got options.

Don’t believe me? Look at Eve, Serena Williams, Evelyn Lozada, and Ciara.

I dare you to say these women aren’t winning.

If they have taught us anything, it is to move the f*ck on when our own men belittle us, cheat, lie and minimize us to nothing against their own egos that break us down to build them up against everything we stand against and deserve.

Stop trying to save broken men.

They don’t want to be saved.

And stop compromising. Stop excusing reckless behavior.

There is a new golden rule of dating:

If it doesn’t feel right, leave.

No real man is going to put a woman in a space to feel uncomfortable in her position. If you have to compete or come out of character, he’s not the one sis.

Move on. Date. Have amazing conversation and mind blowing sex. Use protection, for your heart and your vagina and if it doesn’t work out, move on #WorryFree.

If he calls you a slut, laugh. Pretend you never met him.

It is 2017, we can do what we want, when we want, with whoever we want.

Stop hanging on to cement blocks of lust because you are afraid of being alone.

And stop dating potential.

Everyone has potential but most never live up to the lies in their head. I don’t care if he graduated from a top school and earns six figures, a loser is a loser by any other name if he isn’t right within.

Take my advice, the world is filled with amazing men who were raised with morals and respect. Realize who you are and stop settling. When you focus on you and know your worth, you attract men who see it too.

In the meantime, never apologize for being a powerful f*cking woman. Don’t be afraid to level up, even if the journey seems lonely. There are always rainbows at the end of storms.

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