I had to learn to love the sound of my footsteps walking away from a marriage that wasn’t for me.
I had to learn to love the pain I felt going from a wife to a divorced woman. The pain of vulnerability, loss, disrespect, rejection and heartbreak. Ultimately, that pain made me a stronger woman.
The judge asked me “Are you sure you want this divorce Mrs. Davis?”
What could I say? I filed for divorce because my husband wouldn’t change his ways but every part of me wanted to jump across the table, give him a hug and tell him I love him. At a moment where I had to be strong, I still wanted him to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay, that we could get through this together, like married people who can get through anything.
For better or worse can be a fickle thing when two imperfect human beings fail each other. I filed for a divorce that I never wanted because my husband stopped loving me, and respecting me. Somewhere along the line, I had to love and respect myself so that I could show my children what love is, and what it isn’t.
Somewhere, I mustered up the courage to look the judge in his eyes and respond. “Yes Your Honor”, I said, lying through my teeth, “Our marriage is over and I am sure I want this divorce”.