I love R. Kelly.

But Robert needs to be in jail with Pill Cosby.

I can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. The same way I can acknowledge that there is a difference between Dr. Huxtable and Bill Cosby is the same way I can listen to 12 Play and still feel like R. Kelly is a predator.

This whole news cycle was triggering.

I remember being 11 years old as my 19 year old boyfriend sucked on parts of me he should not have. I remember being 19 years old with a 41 year old boyfriend. I had a baby by him too. I’ve always attracted older men.

Older men have always been my thing. And I’ve always been theirs.

My opinion different.

Looking back, do I feel I was molested or taken advantage of? Yes.

 Did I enjoy my experiences? Absolutely.

R. Kelly has opened Pandora’s box. You mad at R. Kelly? Diddy had a baby by his first baby motha when he was grown and she was a teenager, barely through high school. It’s no secret that Jay-Z had a thing for Foxy Brown at 16 years old. And Beyoncé. Grown men having sex with teenage girls is nothing new in the hip hop industry, and out of it. Paul Walker, of the Fast and Furious franchise, had a whole teenage girlfriend in high school when he died at 32 years old.

This isn’t a R Kelly phenomenon. Rape is rampant in Hollywood, and your local neighborhood.

I remember being 13 years old crying to my 22 year old’s boyfriend’s mom about something horrific that he did to me. Her response? If you are old enough to f*ck, you are old enough for consequences.

She was right.

I have mixed feelings about R. Kelly’s “victims” and the recent special that was aired.

No, I’m not going to stop listening to R. Kelly’s music. I sang “I Believe I Can Fly” for my 5th grade graduation and whenever I’m going through a break-up, “When A Woman’s Fed Up” is on repeat. Nothing is going to change that.

I’m not going to stop listening to R. Kelly’s music the same way I won’t stop listening to Michael Jackson or watching Kevin Spacey movies. If you want to boycott R. Kelly, prepare to stop listening to the music he sang, wrote, and produced. No more Aaliyah. Michael Jackson (You are not alone). Isley Brothers. Maxwell. Kelly Price. B2k. Britney Spears. Ginuwine. Joe. Toni Braxton. Whitney Houston. And plenty of others. Like Beyon…nevermind.

R. Kelly is a musical genius.

And a pervert.

His sister molested him. Hurt people hurt people.

I ain’t got the answers but everyone keeps asking me “what am I going to do”?

I sang “I believe I can fly” for my fifth grade graduation. It’s a memory that will always be with me. I play R. Kelly’s songs when I go through a break-up. That will never change.

I will continue to listen and relate to the genius that is his music and I pray all his victims heal from the trauma that he caused. You can do both at the same time.

Pray for R. Kelly with the same energy he puts into his gospel music. He needs it.

In the meantime, I hope R. Kelly lives the American dream, earning money from his masters all while being sued from the childhoods he robbed along the way.

I ain’t picking a side.

I said…what I said.

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