This is for all my 30+ women.
I’m going to give you a life lesson in leveling up.
This is a safe space, a judgement free zone. If no one else has told you, it’s okay to be provided for and taken care of. You aren’t a gold digger, you have expectations and that’s okay.
I can’t be the only one bored with these social media discussions about paying half the bills. I don’t get it. If you are paying half the bills, raising children, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and still finding the time to fuck him, you are a superhero.
I get it. There are many men who contribute to domestic chores and child rearing all while contributing to the household financially. That type of man is a God send, I’m not talking about these men.
I’m talking about the man who “works hard” at his job, comes home and expects to be treated like “a king” all while his spouse picks up half the bills and all the domestic work. I’m talking about the man who would have to work 3-4 jobs with dishes and laundry up to his neck if you weren’t there holding down the fort. Or the man who wouldn’t have a car or a place to stay if it weren’t in your name. There is a difference between having his back and being a doormat. You can do bad by yourself, don’t settle for half the bills.
Don’t get me wrong sis, these men need love too but if your expectation is higher than what these men can provide, remember your body and your love isn’t purgatory for these men until they get their life together. This doesn’t make you a gold digger, it’s okay to have preferences and expectations.
You really want to level up in life? Get you a man who is a provider. Life is so much more than just bills. If a man can’t afford to pay household bills, how can he afford to add value to your life otherwise? I’m not saying women shouldn’t have to pay anything. Kid’s clothes, vacations, savings accounts, and taxes are all household bills that women should contribute to if that’s the understanding. There are also men who are more than happy and able to cover these expenses too.
Before you give your heart to a man, think about what you really want. Do you want a house? Kids? Vacations? Savings? Before you can even begin to think about what a man can offer you, think about what you have to offer and the lifestyle you are maintaining without a man. When you meet a man, he should compliment your lifestyle and add value. I promise you sis, the 50/50 discussion doesn’t happen when you date accordingly. Men were born to protect and provide, remember that providing doesn’t always mean money but it’s always part of the conversation.
Don’t forget the men you attract is often a reflection of yourself and your expectations. Are you the type of woman that would attract the type of man that you want? If the answer is no, it’s okay to be alone and focus on becoming a better you.
Money isn’t everything but it means a lot to a whole lot of people. Don’t let money be the center of your decisions about who to date and who to love. If you date a man who can only contribute, that is a choice that we don’t want to see you complaining about later down the line on social media, you chose him. Next time, raise your expectations and keep your legs closed to men who can’t afford to provide for you. Nothing is more cringe-worthy than meeting a woman and her man and thinking to yourself Why is she with him?
Sis, don’t be that woman. If you feel like something is wrong and you feel like you can do better, leave and live your best life.
There are plenty of men who are providers looking for good women. Have fun, date and never lower your expectations about what you want in life. Live your life on your terms and according to what makes you happy.