Sis, how well do you really know the new guy you are dating?
Over 50% of people on dating websites are in a relationship and another 30% are con artists, rapists, and otherwise morally bankrupt individuals. With the odds working against you, it pays to do your due diligence on the front end.
Because you may meet someone like Clarence Adamson.
Someone wanted to warn other women about Clarence so here are some fun facts about him:
Red Flag #1
He slept with his homeboy’s mistress- Hmmm, what does this say about Clarence? I’m not sure if his “homeboy” is a best friend or not, but either way, that’s low. It also says he associates with other cheaters. Birds of a feather ladies.
Red Flag #2
He lived with one girl and got another pregnant– First, refer back to red flag #1. Second, step back and really think about what type of friends he has and what type of women he’s interacting with. Does anything about this situation make you feel as if he’s worth dating, let alone marrying?
Red Flag #3
He owes 30K in child support- I know child support is a sensitive subject for anyone who has to pay it but $30k behind means you’ve gone a long time without providing for your kid. Judgement aside, will he expect you to help him pay this down if you are together? This is an automatic disqualification in any situation for me.
He was just arrested for forgery– I’m not big on holding non-violent crimes over people’s heads as a testament to their character. Sometimes people become incarcerated for things normal people wouldn’t think are crimes and that includes Clarence. He lied on a job application in order to work at a school; he literally forged paperwork. Not the worst crime in the world by far but according to Red Flags #1, #2, and #3 Clarence doesn’t seem to be responsible, he doesn’t seem to treat women well, he doesn’t have a handle on his personal life or child support, and he doesn’t make good decisions. Now he has no job and a criminal record, with children to provide for. Yes, children. As in more than one.
I swear I’m not judging Clarence. I’m judging you if you date him. Clarance ain’t for nobody. His red flags and criminal background paint a perfect picture of who he is.
People judge me when I tell them I won’t go out with a guy until I run a background check on them. I’ll be honest, initially I didn’t do it for safety reasons. After my divorce, the nerd in me kicked in while dating. I had no idea what to talk about on dates so I would research people before I met them. Dating is like an interview, right? I honestly just wanted to have some level of conversation that didn’t feel completely superficial.
But shit changed.
The first guy? He lied about his age. I didn’t know men lied about that type of thing. Lying made me wonder what else he was lying about.When I Googled his name, some public criminal records popped up. Nothing serious at all but it was definitely a red flag regarding his decision making. Let’s just say all the red flags were there, clearly labeled, and I still dated him, frustrated with his poor decision making and inability to tell the truth. That was a weird break up, another story for another day.
The second guy? Scammer. Complete scammer. He was the first guy I wrote about. It went viral and women up and down the East coast found each other on that post and aired it all out. I couldn’t believe what a con artist he was. I ran a background check on him and immediately figured out he was using a fake name. Ladies, can you imagine dating a man who lied about his name? That’s CRAZY! Of course I’m glad I figured out who he was before I met him.
Then there was the rapist. Yes, a whole ass rapist from Maryland. He used a fake name too (surprised????) I only figured out who he was because his story was so ridiculous that I wrote about him and other people immediately started sharing their stories about him, complete with his real name.
So back to Clarence. (the person this blog is about) He’s a whole ass mess.Want to avoid men like him? Perform your due diligence and continue to share stories about men like him. What good is a sisterhood if we can’t have productive conversations, especially about something so relatable as dating?
If you have a story to share, please send to firstname.lastname@example.org