You ever have one of those friends who brags about EVERYTHING?
We all have at least one. We have to hide them on social media so they won’t pop up on our timelines bragging about everything possible under the sun. It isn’t that we are jealous of them, we just know they’re frontin’.
They brag about their Benz but they live with their mama. And it’s in her name.
They’re Gucci down to the socks, but we know it’s fake. And they’re on food stamps.
Oh she’s travelling all over the world? How do you think she’s really earning all that money?
It would be one thing if these people were humble and quiet, but nope. They are the loudest, most annoying people to be around. Obnoxious. They are often the one’s bragging about the appearance of their lifestyle while downing others around them for living normal honest lives. It makes them feel good about themselves to look down on others.
I can’t be the only one who enjoys whenever these type of people are exposed. I think we all secretly pray that karma allows us to watch while it’s happening.
Today, I’m questioning if I’m karma.
I must be.
One of my readers must have sent his friend my way because they knew I would be so irritated by him that I would certainly write about it.
Because that’s what I do.
Seriously, who sent this man my way?
He emails me out of nowhere saying his friend recommended that he introduce himself to me. His friend told him I would be his type, right up his alley.
Already, something seemed off. But I had time. I wanted to confirm that my bullshit-o-meter was well calibrated. I swear, I’m getting better at spotting clowns a mile away.
He started with the usual 21 questions. What do you like to do? What profession are you in? What are you looking for in a man? Blah blah blah.
Then it was my turn.
Edwin Johnstein? He’s black. What’s with the Jewish last name? His reaction was classic shock when I asked, I guess he wasn’t expecting that. He tried to explain it. Whatever he said made no sense but I wasn’t really listening either. I was too focused on his LinkedIn.
He’s an attorney?
I gave him my number. It was at this moment I knew I was about to do God’s work by exposing yet another fuck boy who can’t date properly by telling women the truth.
“You’re an attorney?” I asked him.
“My God, your voice is beautiful” he said. I wasn’t with the shits though. I wasn’t flattered.
“What state are you barred in?” I asked.
Of course he took the time to brag about how he’s barred in Atlanta, Florida, South Carolina, New York, and California to practice law. As he’s going on and on about some court case and how he’s worth over 250 million and looking for a wife, I’m on the bar association websites confirming that he’s no attorney in any state, just in his head.
250 million? Lmao.
“If you’re an attorney, how come I can’t find you on any website?” I demanded to know.
You could hear a pin drop.
“My license is suspended in South Carolina, you can’t see it.” he said.
I laughed so loud. Out loud.
It was at that exact moment he claimed to check his text messages and he told me his grandma died. I’m not kidding.
“Oh my God” he said. “I just found out my grandma just passed away.”
“You want to get off the phone? Call your parents?” I asked.
“No” he said. “I want to talk to you”.
At this point I feel like I’m being Punk’d.
“I really would be a good husband. My last wife died.” He said.
“Died?” I thought. “Oh, he’s crazy crazy”.
“My friend knows how much I want a wife and you would be perfect.” He said. “What do you like to do?”
“Didn’t his grandma just die? Certainly there are more important people to talk to than me right now.” I thought.
“I like to write” I said.
“Do you?” he asked nonchalantly. “That’s cool.”
This man literally knows nothing about me. How do you not know I am a writer? Why do you claim to like me? Who tells all these lies on the first day? Why are you lying about being worth 250 million dollars? Why does every man who wants to impress a woman lie about being an attorney? It’s literally public information.
Had he looked me up, the way I looked him up, he would have known I’m not the one.
I wonder which one of his friends sent him my way to be exposed for the con artist he is, lol.
Here’s his LinkedIn:
Ladies (and gents), this is a warning. Dating can be dangerous. You never really know who people are, just who they portray to be.
Be careful. Do your research.
And stay far away from this guy.