I don’t know why I don’t leave closed doors shut.
It’s like I’m a glutton for punishment.
“You are the one that got away” he said.
I’ll admit, part of me thought this was cute. He was my freshman year boyfriend from Clark Atlanta University. To say I was in love would be an understatement.
He was an asshole though. A lying, cheating asshole.
But my youth didn’t understand how to handle his disrespect. I just wanted him to like me as much as I liked him so I tolerated the hurt until one day, he disappeared. And I was okay with that.
“Am I? What do you want? It’s been 13 years.” I responded dryly.
“I’m older now” he said. “I know better. I know I can treat you the way you deserve to be treated if you give me a chance.”
I was confused.
“But I have something to confess to you first if we are going to do this right” he said.
Wait, what? We?
Yup, still confused.
“I slept with your best friend.” he admitted.
In that moment, I felt anger. I wanted to call him a name. I wanted to call him a lot of names.
“You what?” I asked.
“Look, I didn’t mean to. You were at work and me and your best friend had sex. She was walking around naked and watching porn on her laptop. She pulled me into her room, gave me head, and we fucked.” he said so nonchalantly. “But it didn’t mean anything. It was just morning wood.”
I cracked up. What more could I do? It’s been 13 years.
“So, did you use a condom?” I asked.
“No.” he said. “She let me cum inside her. What type of friend is that?”
Now I understood why this particular boyfriend suddenly disappeared and truth be told, I wished he stayed gone.
“Are you mad?” he asked.
I wasn’t mad anymore. I was disgusted. Betrayed. But mad? Nah. He was on my phone telling me I was the one that got away so I was actually happy the relationship ended, regardless of how it happened and it felt reassuring that he realized he lost a good thing. That he would never get back.
“But I want to make it up to you” he said. “We are grown now and…”
Honestly, I stopped listening.
I know better to go down that path again.
Old ways won’t open new doors and he’s one door that can remain shut.