I said what I said.

I find it mildly annoying that people are judged for their preferences.

If you aren’t attracted to transwomen, you are homophobic.

If you aren’t attracted to black women, you are racist.

If you aren’t attracted to broke men, you are a gold digger.

I find the older I get, the more name calling there is. Everyone wants to be grown until it’s time to have mature two way conversations about people’s dating preferences.

This is the latest meme floating through the social media socialsphere:

Is he wrong?

I think his reaction speaks volumes to the depth of their relationship that they built with each other.

If I have learned anything from divorce, it’s watch who you have children with and really get to know a person before you commit to them on any level, especially a permanent one. A baby is the biggest commitment that you can have with someone and there is nothing worse than having a child with someone you want zero attachments to after the relationship has dissolved.

There are two ways to look at this scenario.

She carried his baby to term and gave birth. Pregnancy, labor and delivery are the greatest sacrifices a woman makes with her body. If your woman makes this sacrifice for you, you should be grateful. You should feel inspired to provide for that woman and that baby and be “a man” about the situation, regardless of how her body has changed. It takes some women years to lose weight. Some never lose the weight at all, in fact, some women get bigger. Some women go through postpartum depression. Some women’s looks and personalities are completely different after birth but none of that should matter if love is at the core of the relationship. Women aren’t the only ones who change. Men bald and gain weight too. Some of their penises even stop functioning properly. Who wants to deal with that? Someone who loves you will.

Someone who doesn’t love you won’t.

Sis FMLA just ran out and she has to go back to work. No one has time to think about a man’s ego.

I can tell from the meme that sis settled. I’m sure the representative she fell in love with been left and she knew exactly who her man was and what he liked. Women everywhere love “ain’t shit” men.  Vanity is real and looks are a deal breaker for some people. It’s easy to judge people who are vain as bad people, but they aren’t. People are entitled to their preferences.

Should she have accepted his offer of a tummy tuck to save their relationship? She said no and that was a choice.

Just like she has her choices, so does he. People like what they like and if he isn’t attracted to her post baby body, that’s his choice and preference.

Babies don’t solve relationship problems, they makes them worse. They don’t seem to have a solid foundation enough to where he can look past her physical appearance and still love her for who she is.

This happens to women every day. Have you seen Cyn Santana since having Joe Budden’s baby?

Most normal warm blooded men (and some women) would argue that Cyn is still beautiful. (Cyn is fine AF)

But her at this weight isn’t Joe’s preference. Not when he fell in love with this:

Her post baby body is noticeably bigger and they have been public about the fact that he won’t have sex with her anymore. It’s hard to feel bad for her though. We have all seen Love and Hip Hop. Joe Budden doesn’t exactly come off as husband material. Having a baby by a man in the entertainment industry that liked you because you were sexy may not have been the best idea if you didn’t continue to keep him how you got him. Also, don’t let Joe blame you for his impotence sis. You are 25, Joe is 38. With all the hard drugs he’s been taking all his life, he’s around 50. It isn’t Cyn’s fault Joe can’t have sex, he’s damn near a senior citizen in drug years. Go on and leave Cyn, live your best life. Sex is non-negotiable.

The other side to this penny is that women have a choice. You can wait to commit to lifetime decisions, like marriage and children, and really get to know someone’s heart or you can make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions of lust and a need to be loved.

Depending on the relationship you build with a man, you can end up with an Obama or a Joe Budden. Either way the choice is yours.

If a man isn’t attracted to you because your body isn’t desirable anymore, leave. Life is too precious to waste time with a man who doesn’t cherish you. If anything, he’s blocking the way for your real king to enter into your life and love you, and your child, properly.

Side note: He can be an ass to you and leave you for vain reasons and still be a great father.

Dump him sis. His loss, not your’s.

 

 

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