“Sis, he’s perfect.” Bianca said.
“Is he?” I asked. “Send me a pic.”
My bestie went through the worst divorce last year and swore she would never find someone to love again. She’s dated on and off over the last year and a half. I’ve only liked Adam.
Adam is perfect.
Educated. Good looking. Independent. No kids. The best personality.
She brought him to a couple’s trip to the Bahamas right after they started dating and we all loved him. He definitely had our vote.
I’d be lying if I said all of us, and our spouses, were devastated when they broke up.
“He’s not right for me” was all Bianca had to offer as an explanation for their break up.
We had #BringAdamBack t-shirts made. I think that annoyed her.
So when she mentioned someone new, I had to pretend to be supportive because all of us secretly pray that Adam is still the one.
“I met his daughter” Bianca said.
“Met his daughter?” I asked.
She could sense the hesitation in my tone.
“Yea, his ex-wife died giving birth. It’s difficult for us to coordinate date nights because each of us have kids and no sitter. When I found out about his daughter, I told him to bring her along.” She said. “I love having a bonus child.”
I was shocked. I didn’t really know what to say.
“Oh my God, so he has custody?” was all I could muster.
I have a soft spot for men who step up to raise their children. My dad raised me.
“How old is his daughter?” I asked.
“A year and a half.” Bianca responded.
“How cute.” I said. “Lyric has a little sis now.”
Lyric is my God baby and the cutest little girl ever. Lyric has been begging her mom for a sister lately. So far, this situation didn’t seem half bad.
But I was still skeptical.
Every man Bianca attracts is garbage. There was Jermaine, the alcoholic. Lawrence, the womanizer. Michael, Mr. “Fiscally Disastrous”. And her ex-husband, the booty bandit.
Adam was a breath of fresh air. I still think she should give him a chance.
“Lyric loves her. She treats her like a doll, they are inseparable.” Bianca offered.
“So” I hesitated. “How long have you been together?”
“Almost three months” B said.
“And your kids have met already?” I asked.
“Stop being so judgmental” she demanded. “You wouldn’t know what it is like to be a single parent and dating. Our situation works.”
“I’m happy for you” I lied. “So when’s the double date?” I asked.
“Yay” B exclaimed. “How about a BBQ at our house on Saturday?”
“Cool, I’ll bring the mac n cheese, potato salad and coquito” I said.
God bless Bianca but she can’t cook. All those years at all those fancy schools and clearly home economics was never offered. Or she failed. I refused to starve so I brought the sides.
She can’t play spades either, just thought I would throw that in there.
“So what’s his last name? Where does he live? What’s his ex-wife’s last name?” Monique asked.
Monique is our other best friend and she is on point with the questions.
“If this bitch goes missing, I need to know who this nigga is and where to find him.” Monique said.
Monique plays no games.
“I haven’t asked all those questions yet but you are right, we need to scoop this info to make sure he is legit. Would it be wrong if I wore my #BringAdamBack t shirt to the BBQ?” she asked.
We both busted out laughing.
“I was thinking the same thing” I admitted. “But let’s give him a chance.”
“Fine” Monique mumbled. “But I’m bringing the baked beans and string beans. Tell B she is in charge of the salad and drinks, and that’s it”.
We busted out laughing again.
We have known each other since kindergarten. Trust me, no one was eating the salad.
“So what’s your name?” I asked.
I’ll admit, B’s new bae was a beast on the grill. And fine as fuck. I can see why she was attracted to him but she forgot to mention something important.
“I’m Cleon” he said.
“Cleon?” I thought. “I can’t trust him already. He has one of those untrustworthy names. And he’s white.”
He must have noticed me thinking to myself because there was an awkward silence.
“What’s your last name?” I asked bluntly.
“Wow, you go straight for the jugular” he said, making light of my question.
“I love that you are protective of your friend.” He said.
“Wrong answer” I thought. “So he’s really not going to tell me his last name?” I wondered.
Bianca interrupted us to show me something cute Cleon’s daughter was doing. I ain’t forget how he skirted around my question though.
I took out my phone and went to Bianca’s Facebook profile.
“Why Cleon not her friend?” I asked Monique.
“Three months and they not Facebook friends?” she asked.
Bianca snuck up on us and overheard us gossiping.
“Because he doesn’t like Facebook. He likes his privacy.” She said.
“So, what’s his last name?” Monique blurted out.
“You bitches get on my nerve. His last name is Charles.” She said. “Cleon Carter Charles. Now go be social and stop gossiping.”
I looked at Monique and Monique looked at me.
“This man has three first names? It’s bad enough his name is Cleon. I don’t trust him already.”
Bianca went to the backyard with the kids. Cleon was on the grill. I noticed Cleon’s wallet in Bianca’s office, on her desk, next to their keys.
“Look at his ID” Monique said.
I swear, Monique always puts the battery in my back.
“You do it” I demanded. “I’ll be the lookout.”
Monique scrambled to find his ID. His wallet was messy as fuck.
“Hurry up” I said. “Before we get caught.”
“What are ya’ll doing?” he asked.
Fuck, my husband caught us. His timing is always perfect.
“Put that man’s wallet down” he demanded. “We can’t take ya’ll nowhere.”
My husband made me laugh and Monique quickly dropped the wallet and grabbed my hand.
“We need to talk” she said.
My husband looked up with an “oh shit” look.
“Why does he have two IDs?” she asked franticly.
We all looked at each other confused.
Who the hell is Jeffrey Baker?